The Voices of Reason
by Infrared-Ultraviolet
Summary: Flynn and Elsa are becoming self-aware. Self-aware that they live in an illogical universe where people spontaneously break out into song and marry men they just met. Implied Felsa, hinted Flynnzel. K plus for language.


**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE PREVIEW PICTURE! IT BELONGS TO YancyCatacata ON DEVIANTART! I also do not own any of the characters. All I own is the storyline.**

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By far the loudest voice in the tavern was that of Flynn Rider, recounting his adventures in the far-off kingdom of Corona to the elegant queen of Arendelle.

"And _then_ , would you believe it, the entire pub just burst out into song talking about all their idiotic life dreams!" Flynn made yet another exaggerated hand gesture, and Elsa laughed softly. "It was honestly the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. I mean, who just writes songs on the spot, without any rehearsal or anything? You can imagine I was pretty glad to get out of there."

"Wow, that _does_ sound strange," Elsa said, taking a sip of her tea. "So what happened after that?"

"Ah well…things went more or less like you'd expect," he replied. "I took Blondie to see her lanterns, then we went back to her tower and she gave me my satchel and I was on my merry way. And, just as I said, we parted ways as unlikely friends!" He grinned triumphantly. "So I fled the country before that horrid palace horse could find me, and here I am."

"So…that was it, then? You just left her behind?" There was no accusation in her voice, only mild curiosity.

"Well…yeah." Elsa raised her eyebrows, and Flynn quickly continued. "Now don't get me wrong, she was super cute and I would've loved to get to know her better, but she told me her mother would pretty much stab me in the gut if she ever caught he hanging around there. And the last thing I need is another person who doesn't like me!"

"Ah, that explains it." Elsa smiled coyly at him from across the table. "So no more random bouts of singing?"

"Luckily, no. Although…" He scratched his tiny goatee thoughtfully. "I _did_ get this strange urge to start singing about lights when I was out on the boat with her. Didn't follow through with it, of course. I figured the people on the other boats would give me funny looks, and I didn't want to embarrass Blondie on her special day."

"I'll admit, the way the story was going, I thought you two were going to confess your undying love to each other," Elsa teased.

"What?! No!" Flynn snorted dismissively. "I barely knew her for, like, 48 hours! What was I gonna do, marry her?"

Elsa smirked. "Well, tell that to my sister! You wouldn't believe what she did at my coronation. She walks up to me with this shifty-looking prince she's been acquainted with for one afternoon, and asks for me to bless their _marriage!_ Can you believe that?" Flynn shook his head, taking a bite of the black forest cake they were sharing. "I love my little sister, but she can be _so_ naïve sometimes."

"I mean, I'm no relationship expert, but I'm pretty sure that's not normal," Flynn agreed. "So what did you tell her, Elsa?"

"I said no, for the reason I just told you, and we had a fight. And not to gloat, of course, but…I ended up being right. The prince was just using her so he could get to the Arendelle throne."

"Well, that figures. What a dick!"

"I think Anna learned her lesson. Although…" Elsa let out a resigned sigh. "She seemed to be in quite a hurry to get together with another man she'd only known _two_ days. Some people never change, I guess!"

"For her sake, let's hope _this_ one's not a dick."

"Well, he _seems_ nice enough, if a bit smelly." Flynn sniggered slightly before breaking out into laughter, and Elsa joined in. It really _did_ seem ridiculous that her sister would want to date someone who took a maximum of one shower a week.

"He did help her come find me in the mountains," she went on after their laughter had died down. "She tells me he didn't seem to like her at all at first, and she thought he was a total killjoy, but then in 3 days flat, they're already making out like horny teenagers. I mean, what on earth…?"

"Ah, kids will be kids." Flynn waved a hand dismissively. "Just like Blondie and her lovely delusions about how it's all right to trust creepy thugs as long as they have dreams…and also a creepy mother who keeps you imprisoned for 18 years on the grounds that literally everyone in the world is an asshole."

"And you didn't try to tell her otherwise?" Elsa raised her eyebrows.

"Well…I think she was starting to figure it out for herself when I dropped her off. 'Sides, it's not the responsibility of Flynn Rider, the greatest thief who ever lived, to convince naïve tower girls to stop listening to their psychotic mothers."

Elsa just rolled her eyes, amused by the thief's utter refusal to do anything decent purely on principle.

"Oh, and did I mention _her hair glows?_ " he added. "Like, when she sings, it lights up and can heal wounds and stuff! How freaky is that?!"

Elsa wondered what to say, thinking of her own ice magic. It didn't seem that shocking that someone else in the world had powers, but she feigned surprise. "Seems like there are a lot of strange things going on," she settled for finally.

"I'll say so!" Flynn took another bite of the cake and chewed it purposefully. "And do you ever get the impression that…we're the only ones who notice them?"

"What do you mean?" Elsa asked.

"I mean, me with the singing, you with the sudden marrying…it's like everyone else thinks this stuff is normal, and we're the only ones who realize it's completely illogical."

"I think you're on to something. I mean, would it _really_ be so hard for people to _actually_ make sense sometimes?"

They both laughed, and a stream of ale shot out of Flynn's nose. Elsa laughed even harder while the thief glared at her.

"You know, I'm really glad I met you," he said after wiping his nose. "It's like you actually understand how _crazy_ things can get. I swear, you're the first person who hasn't given me a funny look when I put in a gripe about nonsensical singing."

"No, I definitely understand where you're coming from, Flynn. No one really seemed to have a problem with my sister's marriage, either. I mean, when Prince Hans said she _died_ right after they said their wedding vows, people just took his word for it and put him in charge of the entire kingdom!"

"That's absurd," Flynn agreed.

"I know! There seems to be an amazing lack of common sense in this kingdom. And also in the one you just left, from what you tell me."

They finished their cake and drinks in silence, listening to the bubbling voices around the pub. Elsa looked up at the thief from time to time, smiling to herself at the way he was wolfing down the cake and guzzling the last of his ale. It was undignified, but endearing all the same.

"Hey, leave some for me!" she teased.

He smiled guiltily, pushing the remains of the chocolate cake across to table toward her. "You can finish it, Else. I've had plenty."

Elsa called for the check, and she realized with the slightest pang of sadness that soon, she and Flynn would have to go their separate ways.

"So how long do you think you'll be sticking around?" she asked him as they walked out into the empty street.

"Just until the authorities figure out who I am," he replied with a grin. "And unfortunately, if Corona's king and queen are as obsessed with finding the princess's tiara as they are with waiting around for her to come back after 18 years, it won't take long for word to travel to Arendelle."

"Well…" Elsa smiled mischievously. "I really _should_ turn you in, but seeing as you're one of the only sensible people within a 100-mile radius…I think I'll let you off the hook."

"Some queen you are," he teased. She punched him playfully in the shoulder.

"I have better things to do than rat out a petty thief who can't even steal the tiara of a princess who actually _uses_ it," she retorted.

Flynn put his hand over his heart, mouth gaping in mock offense. "I'll have you know, Your Majesty, that I'd steal that crown whether or not the princess it belonged to was kidnapped!"

"Sure." Elsa gave him a tiny smirk. "I am thoroughly convinced now."

Without warning, Flynn snatched the golden crown off her head, dangling it out of reach. "See? I can steal the crown of a ruling monarch if I want to!"

"I could have you arrested for that," she reminded him dryly.

"But you won't," he countered. "Because I'm just so incredibly handsome that you'd never forgive yourself."

"I can assure you that isn't how justice works in Arendelle. My sister's ex-fiancé can tell you that even attractive people can end up in jail."

Flynn didn't look impressed. "Don't make me use the smolder on you!"

"I'd like to see you try, Rider."

He puckered his lips and narrowed his eyes in what Elsa believed to be a very unattractive fashion. She rolled her eyes.

He let his face relax. "See? I just smoldered myself out of being arrested," he bragged.

"Hardly."

"Oh, yeah? Then why aren't you calling the guards?"

"I haven't even had the chance yet!" she said. "Anyway, why don't you just give me my crown back and then I won't have to arrest you?"

"Not a chance!"

She reached out to try and grab it away, but he continued to hold it far above her head. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that all of this unseemly hopping around wasn't very queenlike, but with no one here to see her but Flynn, she didn't much care.

Faint music drifted down the street on the wind, and both of them paused in their tussling to listen to it. It was melodic and slow, almost too much so to be made by a typical traveling band.

Elsa was overcome with a strange feeling, one that surged through her like a hurricane the same way her powers had when she stopped holding them back. For the first time, she really took in how handsome Flynn Rider was. The entrancing light brown eyes, the soft, wispy bangs that framed the side of his face, the long, perfect nose…

And just like that, Queen Elsa of Arendelle felt herself starting to lean in. "Why do I suddenly have the urge to kiss you?" she muttered to herself.

"And why do I suddenly have the urge to sing about idealized, unrealistic romantic relationships?" he muttered back.

The music grew louder and louder as their lips glided toward each other. Suddenly, just before they touched, both of them jerked back and the music came to an abrupt stop.

"Wait, what are we doing?" Elsa's eyes widened in dismay. "We've only know each other a couple days!"

"Yeah, this is weird," Flynn agreed. "I'm not very convinced by that 'love at first sight' business. Where was that music coming from, anyway?"

"I don't know. The sky, perhaps? I didn't see any traveling musicians tromping past us just now."

Flynn raised his eyebrows. "How strange. Well…add that to the list, I guess."

"Oh, certainly! Well Flynn…it's been very nice having cake with you." Elsa reached out her hand for him to shake. She wished she could wrap him in a hug, but after their almost-kiss, she figured any sort of physical affection would be far too awkward. "We should do this again sometime. And _then_ we can discuss mysterious celestial music!"

"That apparently activates attraction hormones," he added, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. "I look forward to it! I'll be hanging around this pub this time tomorrow, if you want to come and find me."

"I'll make an effort," she assured him. "But for now, I should get back to the castle. Lots of paperwork to fill out about trade agreements."

"And I should get back to evading the police," he replied with a grin. "But I'm glad we had this talk. Until tomorrow, my lady!" He waved goodbye before slipping into a nearby alleyway, his tall form lost in the shadows.

Elsa smiled to herself and set off back to the palace, a single thought echoing through her head. Perhaps given enough time, a kiss wouldn't seem out-of-place at all.

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 **Written because Flynn and Elsa are pretty much the only sane Disney characters XD And I also happen to ship them, so this one-shot was born! With a few changes to the Tangled canon, that is, so that Flynn Rider is even MORE sane XD (Also because if Tangled happened, he would be married to Rapunzel and not really have any business travelling to other kingdoms and flirting with their queens…you get my meaning?) If you're wondering why Elsa calls him Flynn and not Eugene…it's because he doesn't know her well enough yet to open up to her and reveal his real name. Here, Flynn's character development in Tangled never really happened, so he's still very much the cocky, self-centered thief he was at the beginning of the movie. He's more fun as a thief, no? But looks like Elsa will have to be the one who changes him for the better!**


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